The Creative’s Curse (And Superpower)

A mix of struggle and strength.

THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING IT FOR YOU!

This week’s topic wasn’t planned, but as I started writing (and procrastinating with Instagram stories), it became clear that this needed to be said.

So, I’m going to get really real here for a moment in the hopes that it resonates with some of you wonderful people.

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF NOT FEELING GOOD ENOUGH.
(Apologies for the language, but it’s the truth.)

I know where it comes from—I’ve done enough work to recognise why and how it shows up in me—but I am well and truly sick of it. I could give you a hundred examples, but for time’s sake, I’ll narrow it down to a few.

Every single time I send or share a link to a photoshoot I’ve done, I feel a little anxious until I get a response like, “These look great!”

I sent a job to a client a month ago (they’ve already used all the images), but because they never replied, I still secretly think they don’t like the work—even though I know it looks great.

I’m extremely on the fence about sharing my latest work because it’s very different from what I’ve done before (even though it feels more me than anything I’ve made). And after a lot of reflection, I’ve realised that the only reason I’m hesitating is because I’m worried people won’t like it, won’t buy it, won’t resonate with it, won’t see it, won’t care about it.

All of the above, times fifty. But I’ll leave it at that.

A Little Context

First, I do believe that feeling this way can actually be a superpower as a creative. It pushes you to go above and beyond for your clients—to under-promise and over-deliver, as they say. These feelings have made me level up in my work like nothing else.

Second, as Seneca said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

And finally, when it comes to my latest work…

I AM NOT TAKING IT FOR YOU.

I’m taking these photos for me—because I feel a deep, compelling need to create them. I get excited when it’s windy. I get even more excited to edit. I love writing about the pieces on my typewriter. I’m in a flow state when I’m making the work.

The work is the work. And as a creative, you have to understand that you can only do your best and execute to the highest level you can.

For a long time, this kind of overthinking kept me stuck. I used to worry that a shoot done in terrible midday lighting in WA’s harsh sun meant I was a bad photographer. But the truth is, you can only control what you can control.

Backlight them. Maybe fill with flash. Choose the background carefully. Choose your focus and aperture carefully. Get the eyes open, the smiles right (if they’re smiley photos), and the poses looking good.

THAT’S ALL YOU CAN CONTROL.

I won’t go into a full stoic rant, but there’s a lesson from a recent read that really applies here:

“I am not confident, but I have evidence.”

I’ve done these shoots hundreds, if not thousands, of times. So when I get nervous, I remind myself: I may not always feel confident, but I have evidence. The thousands of times I’ve done it before prove that I’m capable. That I’m good at what I do.

So, was this email just a rant about how much evidence I have?

It wasn’t when I started, but maybe it is now.

Because as a creative, it’s important to remind yourself how far along this journey you are.
How good you are.
How much passion you have for what you do.

Your Work Shouldn’t Be Defined by Others

When it comes to the work itself, you shouldn’t let your worth be determined by what others may or may not think. You can only do your best—for yourself, first and foremost.

As long as you’re willing to push yourself to improve and do your best for your clients, you shouldn’t just feel good enough—you should know that you ARE good enough.

That’s the takeaway from a work perspective.

From a Creative Perspective

Now, from a purely creative standpoint, I’m sharing these images not because I think you’ll like them.

I’m sharing them because I like them.

You’ve had a sneak peek of this series already, and now I’m going to take you through it—because I love what I’m making.

This series is based on and focused on wind.

Now, wind is very hard to photograph. Some might say it’s invisible. But the impact of wind isn’t—and that is what makes it so incredibly photographic.

So, I’ll leave you with these images today and dive deeper into this topic next week.

Until then, go out and do your best. And whenever that little voice of doubt creeps in, remember these words:

I am not confident, but I have evidence.

Love,
Adam