How to Find Yourself (After Years of Trying to Be Someone Else)

It's a work in progress

I’ve changed—

To become who I already was.

Funny how we spend so much time trying to become the person we think we should be, only to realise we’ve been moving further away from who we really are.

But how do we truly get to know ourselves?

Is it through hours of self-reflection and personal growth?

By recognising the patterns that keep showing up in our lives?

By unlearning the parts of ourselves shaped by those around us?

Maybe it’s all of the above.

There’s power in proximity—who we surround ourselves with matters. That’s something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately, and it ties into some ideas I’ve been working on.

Truth is, self-awareness takes time. Noticing patterns, reflecting on our choices, and understanding the influence of those around us—none of it makes us worse off. If anything, it makes us stronger.

I’ve been lucky to cross paths with incredible people, as well as those who taught me tough lessons. Some showed me the kind of person I want to be, others showed me who I don’t. I’m grateful for all of it—the good, the bad, and the ugly—because without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

So, what’s the point of all this? A grand revelation? A message to say I’ve done the inner work and now meditate for hours every day? Not quite.

I’m still the guy who jumps from idea to idea, who prefers momentum over stillness. But something has shifted. After years of convincing myself (and others) that I was one thing or another, I finally feel like I’m becoming… me.

I’ve been told I was too short, that I looked too young, that I was great at sports—until I wasn’t. I earned a degree I’ve never used. I’ve chased projects, travelled, and explored. Now, in my 32nd year, I think I’m finally getting closer to what I didn’t even know I was chasing—understanding myself.

And that brings me to art.

Looking back, I can see how much of my work was about trying to be someone I’m not. I’ve spent years admiring and emulating photographers I deeply respect—Finn Beales, Alex Strohl, Rodney Smith, Hiroshi Sugimoto, Tyler Shields, Alan Schaller, Henri Cartier-Bresson, Joel Meyerowitz. They’re all heroes to me, and at different points, I’ve tried to take pieces of them and make them my own.

I’ve tried, landscape photography, travel, street, documentary, product, commercial, portraits, fine art, astro, underwater, architecture. all of it

It eventually led me closer to understanding myself and what I liked in each one and what I didn’t.

What it did give me, though, was skill, experience, and a deep understanding of the craft. And maybe that was the point. The old saying rings true—sometimes, instead of trying to figure out what you love, you start by learning what you don’t.

I accept all of it—the million photographs, the exhibitions, the $50,000+ investment in my work. Every piece of it was a lesson. And today, I know I’m closer to being myself than I was a year ago, six months ago, even three months ago.

And that feels like something worth sharing.
See you all next Tuesday.