4am Club

What happens when you listen instead of roll over

There’s this thing that happens when you’re working on something and it’s not quite right, your brain wakes you up with answers and a lot of ideas. I’m no scientist and I don’t really care why it happens. It just does. Most times I roll over and go back to sleep. But this week, that one-in-ten moment happened, and for the first time in a while, I leaned into it.

I sat up. I thought. Dangerous for me most of the time. But it felt like all the other noise had gone quiet and one voice came through clear. It didn’t say anything groundbreaking, but it made sense.

Right now I’ve got three ideas on my mind. All different. All new to me. Each with subcategories that I’ve never touched before. So I’ve had to dig deeper than usual. The kind of digging that leads to more questions. Which is a good sign. If I’m asking questions, I’m on the right path. Dead ends don’t ask anything.

Because I don’t fully know what I’m doing, I’ve had to lean into the “fuck around and find out” mindset. Take action in any direction and let that action lead to the next one. That’s where lessons live. It doesn’t matter if it works. What matters is I’m shaping something from what’s in front of me, bit by bit, into what I’m picturing.

That 4am wake-up helped with that. I’d asked questions before bed, and I woke with clearer ones. Not answers, but better directions. Like:

• How do I make projections look like this?

• If I do that, how do I make it move?

• How many fans do I need?

• Can I make a flower that big out of wood?

Without context, these sound random. But they’re where the mind naturally goes when you’re starting something real. The 4am club strips away the how and gives you space to figure out what’s next. That’s a much easier place to begin.

With projections, the gap between where I am and where I want to be feels big. I don’t know the tech, the apps, the materials. But I can borrow a projector, hang up some fabric I already have, hit it with a bit of wind, and see what happens. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, I’ll at least know what question to ask next.

The idea of “what’s the next actionable step” has probably been the most useful tool I’ve found in getting better. It skips the overwhelm and gets you moving.

I’m not saying wake up at 4am and start building sculptures or running tests. But most creative people know this feeling. That restless hum when something’s trying to break through. Gavin James said it well:
“When the words aren’t right they keep you up at night.”

Sometimes, I wake at 4 or 5, get up, do a brain dump, and answer all the questions that kept me up the night before. That’s why Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages exist. I used to do them every day for over a year. Maybe it’s time to go back. Maybe this whole post is just a long way of saying:
Ask the question. Dump your thoughts. Take the next step.

There’s no formula to this. Just gut feelings. Intuition. Knowing something without being able to explain why. That idea shows up across holistic practices, the belief that the answers are already in us, we just need to get quiet enough to hear them.

So tomorrow, I’m starting morning pages again. Three pages. Brain dump. No aim. No edit. Just get it out. Ask the question at night. Wake up. Spill it all. Work out the next step and move.

The world needs more creativity, and we’re all creative. Some of us just don’t see it yet.

Love to all,
Adam

Few shots from this week wet and wild week here in Perth